Why Can't We Communicate With Our Dead Loved Ones?

Question:  We believe in the Holy Spirit. We believe in the apparitions of Mary. We believe in the angels & the saints. Why does the church not condone the use of a psychic to communicate with the spirits of our deceased loved ones?

 When a loved one passes away, the powerful bond of love that was once there still remains. It is somewhat natural that we want to have continued connection with that loved one.  People in this situation can be very vulnerable as they seek to know that their loved ones are "OK".

The story of Dives and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31) informed all early Christian belief about the fate of the dead. In the parable, Dives (Latin for “rich man”) passes by the poor man Lazarus without helping him. When they both die, Dives goes to Hades, and Lazarus goes to heaven.
From his place of torment, Dives sees Lazarus resting in the bosom of Abraham and begs him for comfort, or that he at least send a message to his family warning them to change their ways.
Abraham denies the first request, saying,

Between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us (Luke 16:27).

The Church Fathers read this as a denial of the ability of the spirits of the dead to pass to the world of the living.

But, what are they really getting when they pursue the services of a supposed psychic or a medium?  At best, the mediums are charlatans and thieves, using bits of inside or generic information to take advantage of a grieving person by making them believe that they can actually communicate with the dead.   At worst, they are making the proverbial "deal with the devil."

 The Church has always made it clear that conjuring or attempting to communicate with the dead is a dangerous thing.  In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2116 it is clearly stated:

“All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to “unveil” the future. Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone…” 

If some spirit is actually being conjured up, how can we be sure that what is being conjured is not Satan or one of his demons instead of the spirit of our loved one?  The devil is real. His demons are real.  Their goal is the ruin of humanity. Their desire is to trick us into doing things against God's law, and replace our Eternal Life with Eternal Death.

 Let's contrast conjuring up spirits with asking Mary or one of the Saints in heaven to pray for us.  As Scripture indicates, those in heaven are aware of the prayers of those on earth. In Revelation 5:8, John depicts the saints in heaven offering our prayers to God under the form of "golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." But if the saints in heaven are offering our prayers to God, then they must be aware of our prayers. They are aware of our petitions and present them to God by interceding for us. 

Some object to asking our fellow Christians in heaven to pray for us. They reason that God has forbidden contact with the dead in passages such as Deuteronomy 18:10–11. Actually, what God has forbidden is necromantic practice of conjuring up spirits.

"There shall not be found among you any one who burns his son or his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination, a soothsayer, or an augur, or a sorcerer, or a charmer, or a medium, or a wizard, or a necromancer. . . . For these nations, which you are about to dispossess, give heed to soothsayers and to diviners; but as for you, the Lord your God has not allowed you so to do. The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your brethren—him you shall heed" (Deut. 18:10–15). 

God thus indicates that one is not to conjure the dead for purposes of gaining information; one is to look to the Church and scripture instead. Thus one is not to hold a séance. But a reasonable person can discern the vast difference between holding a séance to have the dead speak through you and a child asking in prayer for his deceased parent to intercede for him. One is an occult practice bent on getting secret information; the other is a humble request for a loved one to pray to God on one’s behalf.

We hope that his has helped you.