Bereavement Ministry
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A Catholic and Holistic Approach to Grief and Mourning...
Over several years of accompanying parishioners through the loss of a loved one, we've learned that grief doesn't happen in orderly, easy to process stages. It's more like the Lord's Passion:
- The sudden and/or great grief of the loss of a loved one (GOOD FRIDAY)
- The grief and numbness of acceptance that the person we've lost is not going to come back to us (Holy Saturday)
- The hope and desire to reenter into real life (Easter Sunday)
- And what to do with the new path that the Lord has lain before us (Easter Monday)
With this in mind, we have put together a vision for Grief Ministry that looks like this: -
Grief Support: Step 1 - Pastoral Accompaniment
The loss of a loved one can seem like a daunting challenge, but with pastoral care, healthy faith, and friends to support you, God can turn your grief into SACRED GRIEF - a place where the Lord can come very close to your broken heart. Saint Luke wants to help.
Our Bereavement Ministry is formed on four images of what the different stages of grief can feel like
When someone you love dies, the suffering of the first days, weeks, and months can feel like the brutality of Good Friday. As good as God is, the pain of suffering a loss can feel as if we are plummeting into the depths of a fear, loneliness, and abandonment that we have not ever felt or not felt in a long time.
The first words of Psalm 22 can feel very much like our own words:
"My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?Why so far from my call for help, from my cries of anguish? My God, I call by day, but you do not answer; by night, but I have no relief."
But that same Psalm speaks to us about the fidelity of God and His understanding of our pain:
"In You, our fathers trusted; they trusted and you rescued them. To you they cried out and they escaped; in you they trusted and were not disappointed."
The Lord and His Blessed Mother know how your heart is broken - they have felt the sadness you feel now. But the Psalmists also know that your well placed faith in these hard days can lead you to a greater love, belonging, and empowerment in your relationship with the Lord.
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me, delivered me from all my fears. Look to him and be radiant,
and your faces may not blush for shame. This poor one cried out and the LORD heard, and from all his distress he saved him. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he saves them."
At Saint Luke, in the early days of your loss (the days leading up to, the day of, and the days of preparing for the funeral of your loved one, we are available to meet with you pastorally to help you deal with the grief and decisions of the weeks and months directly after your loss. -
Step 2: Developing the Tools To Grieve With Hope And Honor the Ones We Love
After the funeral of your loved one and when everyone has gone home, there can be a profound sense of silence that can feel like isolation and loneliness. But the silence of Holy Saturday an also be a great time of personal reflection and remembrance and the chance to allow us to make close relationships with God and others. At Saint Luke, we are building a Beareavement Ministry that can help you learn how to really find the peace and growth that you need by surrounding you with other people in your same season of grief and mourning.
Processing Grief Support Group: PARTICIPANTS CAN JOIN TWO SEMESTERS:
Semester 1:
First evening: FRIDAY, April 12 - all subsequent meetings are on TUESDAY evenings through May 21 at 6 pm.Donation for Materials: $20 per semester +Scholarships are available - Please do not let cost prevent you from registering!DOWNLOAD 2024 CALENDAR HERESUMMER BREAK
Semester 2:
August 6 - September 17 at 6 pmDonation for Materials: $20 per semester +Scholarships are available - Please do not let cost prevent you from registering!
Participants register TWO semesters of great content and support which begin on April 12, 2024, have a personal reflection break until the second semester begins on August 6, 2024, at 6 pm.
Registration for Semester 1 begins March 1, 2024 and ends on April 16.
Registration for Semester 2 begins July 1, 2024 and ends on August 7. (You must have attended Grieving with Great Hope prior to attending Semester 2)
CONTENT OF SEMESTER 1:
Grieving with Great Hope is a support program developed by John and Sandy O'Shaughnessy who are the co-founders of Good Mourning Ministry, a Catholic Bereavement Apostolate. John is a Certified Grief Counselor and author of five books. Sandy is a Director of Religious Education with a master's degree in Pastoral Ministry (Bereavement Emphasis). They are grief educators, but in this series, that runs through six sessions, team leaders walk with you through the program by means of prayer, practical guidance, and personal support and by providing information about Archdiocese of New Orleans resources. Semester 1 focuses on teaching that grief is a natural reaction to loss, and that mourning is our intentional response. Mourning is what we do with the pain we feel, and small groups help you to talk about practical ways to embrace the cross of loss and learning to walk toward a Resurrection of hope and remembrance in a peaceful and supportive environment.
CONTENT OF SUMMER REFLECTION:
The process of Semester 1 calls for a quiet time to reflect on what participants have learned and to allow for a time to remember the goodness of God, the understanding the growth that comes with entrusting our sadness to God. Over the Summer break, participants are encouraged to journal through Understand Your Grief, written by Alan D. Wolfet, Ph.D.
Filled with compassion and hope, the books help you understand and befriend your painful, complex, and very normal thoughts and feelings after the death of someone loved. The journal is built on ten touchstones and helps you come up with a workable plan to move forward (basic principles to learn and actions to take to help yourself engage with your grief and create momentum toward healing):
- Be open to the presence of your loss: Learn the skills to overcome the desire to avoid the pain of loss and develop the courage to face what God can do if you turn it over to His grace
- Dispel the misconceptions about how to deal with how you feel: Our culture and our experiences can teach us things about grief that are either not true or not realistic. Jesus wants to accompany you through your grief to teach you God's truth of love and compassion.
- Embrace the uniqueness of your grief: Your grief is affected by a myriad of reasons and experiences and is as unrepeatable as you are. Allow God to teach you the beauty of your uniqueness even amid your sadness.
- Explore your feelings of loss: The Lord hears the pain of His people and has pity for them. Without reflecting on your feelings - and why you feel the way you do - you cannot lay them at His feet and find the mercy you need.
- Understand your needs for mourning your loved one: The needs of mourning aren't always predictable, and they require you to learn to know what they are so that you can find the support and love you need.
- Recognize you are not crazy: Your pain is sometimes overwhelming and hard to process. God sees you and longs to give you His own Sacred Heart on which to cry upon. Your heart hurts, but you are not crazy.
- Nurture yourself: Healing takes time. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn't try to walk or run on it. The wise thing would be to give yourself time to heal. Grieving and mourning also take time to heal. Take your time.
- Reach out for help: The truest form of love is the ability to give ourselves selflessly. Love is not just allowing ourselves to love - but also to be loved selflessly. Allow yourself the mercy to be cared for - and the wisdom to know what you need help to do.
- Seek Reconciliation, not resolution: You have lost someone you love. It is very much like an amputation. You can learn to get by, to continue to thrive and grow - but you also will never be the same. But God can do great things with you still.
- Appreciate your transformation: God will grow you into a beautiful and powerful witness to His goodness and a tribute to the one you loved. With patience, learn to see the good God is doing in you.
CONTENT OF SEMESTER 2:
The Seven Intentions of Mourning are conscious choices we make about how we will take up the cross of our sadness and the intentional love we will live out. The unique purpose of this semester is to learn to how to heal our hearts without losing the memory of the people we lost. Through seven sessions, team leaders walk with you through the program by means of prayer, practical guidance, and personal support and by providing information about Archdiocese of New Orleans resources. Semester 2 focuses on the importance of prayer, remembering and honoring the people we love and have lost, acceptance of our crosses with love, how to yield to the pain without losing your strength, how to discover the enduring connections with God and others, how to rebuild our lives, and how to seek support when we need it and give support to others. -
Step 3: Stepping Out Into A New Day
As you begin to rely on Christ and your parish family, and with the tools for coping that you've learned, you'll begin to find peace even if grief is a companion from time to time. But as Saint Paul encourages us in 1 Thessalonians::
"Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together* with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore, console one another with these words."
We will encourage you throughout the process to embrace the incredible power of the Sacraments - Confession and Holy Eucharist - through companionship and Eucharistic Adoration so that you can walk forward into real happiness without losing sight of God's constant presence. This is a perfect time to develop a Bible "habit" by joining one of our great Bible studies or a Come, Lord Jesus or Lord, Teach Me to Pray group as well as attending FIRE nights, Missions at Saint Luke, and ACTS Retreats through our parish to deepen your prayer life and give you the strength to keep walking toward a hope-filled life that both gives you a lasting joy and helps you honor the life of the person you lost. -
All Souls Day Candlelit Mass
The beautiful candlelight Mass of All Souls Day is dedicated to the people we've lost over the last year. But our Support Group Participants also participate regardless of when they lost their loved one. Each family is allowed to name their loved one, and a candle is lit for them and carried to the altar. At the end of the Mass, you will be allowed to have the candle to take home.
HELD EACH YEAR, NOVEMBER 2, at 6 pm | Saint Luke the Evangelist Catholic Church -
Step 4: Following Jesus Out Into the World To Give Hope To Others
As you grow in faith and strengthen your relationship with God and your parish family, you will begin to recognize the process by which you can help others to follow Christ more closely by your example of hope and healthy mourning. The Lord knows that you have a lot to offer the people entrusted to be your friends, your coworkers, and your community.
This is a perfect opportunity to take that new found energy, and search out ministries, organizations, apostolates in our community to bring your gifts and talents to the Lord for His glory. You have a lot to offer your family, your neighbors, and your Church.
Are you ready to find your Easter Monday work?
Call our Parishioner Liaison to see what amazing service you can be to building up the Kingdom of God!