Preparing for the Funeral

If You Are Planning a Catholic Funeral at St. Luke the Evangelist Catholic Church
 

“We would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14).

If you have experienced the death of a loved one, we, the pastoral staff at St. Luke the Evangelist would like to express our deepest sympathies to you and your family. Our Catholic faith teaches us, through the resurrection of Jesus, to mourn with great hope. Still, grieving the death of a loved one is a traumatic experience that takes time and must be fully processed. When we grieve, no one can understand the depth of our loss, but please know that you are not alone. We are here to help you prepare for the next few days leading up to the funeral liturgy, as well as support you as you mourn in the weeks and months ahead.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.

To make funeral arrangements, please contact the Parish Office at (985) 641-6429.
  Gather your documents and any directions from the deceased person regarding funeral arrangements and contact the funeral home of your choice. 
 

• Before you meet with the Funeral Director, contact St. Luke the Evangelist at (985) 641-6429 to determine the availability of a priest to celebrate the funeral.  Please do not make arrangements for dates without discussing your plans with our priests.  Calling before you begin making the arrangements assures that a priest will be aware that your family is going through this difficult time and can be prepared to advise, comfort, and pray with you as you need him. 
   
• Make sure the funeral director sends all pertinent information to St. Luke.                 

 
Plan to meet with the celebrant to plan the liturgy, indicating various preferences, including the inclusion of music, and the choosing of the Gospel and other readings. 
  Simply stated, grief is your reaction to the death of your loved one. It consists of the internal thoughts and emotions you may have at any given time. Common emotions are guilt, anger, and sadness. The grief reaction is very different for everyone – no two hearts ache in the same way. And despite what you may have been told, there are no stages of grief, meaning there is no “common path.” There is only your path.

Mourning is the outward expression of your internal grief. It is your proactive response. Mourning is not passive, rather, it consists of the many ways you can express your grief. And in expressing your grief, you begin to heal. Your life will never be the same, but gradually, as you mourn the loss of your loved one, you begin to move forward into a new and different life. 

If at any time, it seems that you can't get past the grief, please don't hesitate to call our office.  We will be happy to meet with you and assist you in finding the help you need to get back on the road to a healthy life.

  If you have ever wondered why Catholics have certain rituals and practices at the time of death, then you are not alone. Our faith in the Paschal Mystery (the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ) reveals itself through the dying and death of each Christian. The following points are designed to invite reflection upon the meaning of what we do and believe at the time of a Christian's death. We also hope that this section will act as a guide for you to better understand and appreciate our beliefs and practices. 

In facing death, we are reminded that God has created each person for eternal life. We celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise and thanksgiving to God for the gift of a person's life, which has now been returned to the Author of Life. At the death of a Christian, the Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased. We are confident in the conviction that death is not the end nor does it break the bonds of family, friendship, and community that are forged in life. 

The Church, through its funeral rites, commends the dead to God's merciful love and pleads for the forgiveness of their sins. The celebration of the Christian funeral brings hope and consolation to the living. In the Eucharistic sacrifice, the Church celebrates Christ's Passover from death to life and our participation in this great mystery. The faith of all the baptized is renewed and nourished in this celebration. The intimate connection between the baptism of the Christian into the death and resurrection of Christ and the Eucharistic celebration is one of the main reasons for offering the Mass for the deceased. 

In summary, we believe that in celebrating the funeral rites, we affirm and express the union of the Church on earth with the Church in heaven in the one great communion of saints. Though separated from the living, the dead are still at one with the community of believers on earth and benefit from their prayers and intercession. In the gathering of the community of believers with the community of saints in heaven, we offer our prayers through the person of Jesus Christ in the greatest prayer of the Church, which is the Eucharist. 

Color.  We normally associate the color white with Easter, weddings, baptisms – events of joy, happiness, and victory.  Since we are not merely grieving over a loved one’s loss but celebrating his or her entrance through death into life forever, the ministers generally wear white vestments.  Flowers are appropriate at the funeral Mass.  St. Luke will be happy to assist you or your florist about floral arrangements or Mass altar flowers.

Music.  More than anything else in worship, music affects our feelings and the atmosphere in which we pray.  It expresses well our inner thoughts.  For this reason, our Music Director, Jodi Connor, will be a great asset to you as you choose the music for your loved one’s funeral.   Once you have set your funeral date and time, please call her at (985) 641-6429 ext. 212 or email her as soon as possible.  

Readings and Prayer of the Faithful.  The funeral liturgy has the choice of nearly fifty scriptural readings.  In planning the funeral, bear in mind that these readings will provide comfort and spiritual healing for the members of your family and community as they grieve. 
 

• You will choose (1) Old Testament reading and (1) New Testament reading. 
• If you opt to have no music at the funeral, the Responsorial Psalm will also be read. 
• You should choose the readers of these scriptures from among your family or friends.  You may have one reader read both the Old and New Testament readings (and Responsorial Psalm, if there will be no music) or you can choose one reader for each individual reading. 
• The Prayer of the Faithful is also read by a member of the family or community (or a deacon, if one is present.)  
• Your readers should arrive at least 30 minutes before the beginning of the Mass so that they can familiarize themselves with the environment and practice their readings prior to the Mass with the help of the Sacristan.  This will help them feel comfortable and alleviate any stress. 
• The priest/minister assisting you with funeral preparation can help you choose the appropriate Gospel.  This is read by the priest (or a deacon, if one is available.)  He will also be the homilist at the funeral.  Make certain to share with him as much about your relationship with the deceased, giving important family relationships and your thoughts and feelings.  This will assist him in preparing the homily, and you as you begin the grieving process. 

All the readings are available to you at our website, https://saintlukeslidell.org/funerals.  

If you would like guidance in choosing the best readings to honor your loved one, please don’t hesitate to ask the priest/minister assisting you.

Gift Bearers.  The Presentation of the Gifts is the ritual in which bread, wine and water are brought to the altar. Family members or friends of the deceased should serve as gift bearers and, in so doing, serve as a reminder to all present of our commitment to become what we will soon share – the Body and Blood of Christ.  It is acceptable to have young members of your family serve in this capacity if you so choose as long as you believe that they can carry the objects with security. Your gift bearers should arrive at least 30 minutes before the Mass is scheduled to begin so that the sacristan can guide them through the process and answer any questions.

Altar Servers.  If young members of your family or friends have been trained as Catholic Altar Servers, we will be happy to have them assist in the Mass.  If you would like the parish itself to provide an Altar Server for your funeral, we can do so if one is available for the Mass date and time.  Please mention this to the priest/minister assisting you.

Sacristan.  St. Luke parish will assign a sacristan to arrange the church and make everything perfect for the funeral.  This person has been especially trained to serve you and your family at on the day of the funeral and will make everything run smoothly for you.  He or she will already be at St. Luke long before the funeral is scheduled to begin and will be expecting you, your readers, gift bearers, and guests when you arrive.  Please arrive no later than 30 minutes prior to the beginning of the Mass. 

Words of Remembrance.  The revised Order of Christian Funerals has included a relatively new option for families who are preparing to celebrate the funeral of a loved one. This option is the speaking of Words of Remembrance. First, please note that this is an option; it is not a required element of funeral liturgies.
Words of Remembrance focus solely on the faith life of the deceased, not on other anecdotal memories. 

As Catholics, we say each day at Mass that “we wait in joyful hope” for the time of our return to the Lord. In reflecting on the faith life of the deceased, we prepare ourselves to say our farewell filled with that same joyful hope. “Because our loved one lived this life, we therefore with joyful hope entrust him/her to the Lord.” That is the spirit of Words of Remembrance. Reflecting on manifestations of a loved one’s life of care and nurturing, of prayer and fidelity to the sacraments, of service to Christ’s Church family, of fidelity to relationship and commitments made in faith: these are all that need be included in Words of Remembrance, for this is how Christian faith is lived. Words of Remembrance are offered only by one person on behalf of the family. Therefore, the one chosen for this should consult with the family to make certain that the remembrances of all are represented in the remarks. At St. Luke, Words of Remembrance will take place prior to the Mass at the end of the period of visitation.   You should indicate to the priest assisting you to plan the funeral in advance that you or someone with you will deliver Words of Remembrance.  Please keep your statement brief (no more than one typed page) but make certain to highlight his or her virtues, their care and fidelity to relationships and to you, and, in general, remember the deceased in kindness, with love, and mercy.  Good humor is appropriate, being respectful of the grieving of the members of your family and community.  If you have any questions at all, the priest/minister will be happy to assist you.  Please make sure that the person giving the Words of Remembrance arrives at least 30 minutes before the Mass is scheduled to begin so that he or she can become comfortable with the environment and can gather his or her thoughts without rushing.

PICTURES.  We will be happy to provide you with space to place pictures and flowers in our community room so that your guests can see them.  If you would like to provide a DVD of photographs, we can play this in the community room as your guests gather. 

COFFEE AND WATER.  If the funeral will have a period of visitation, St. Luke will set up an area with coffee and water in the community room.  You may also provide small items for food if you think your guests will be there for a considerable amount of time.  These will be removed 30 minutes before the Mass and boxed up for you.  Please do not permit your guests to bring drinks or food of any kind into the sanctuary at the beginning of the Mass.



WHY CATHOLICS BURY THEIR DEAD WITH SUCH DIGNITY

When we are baptized, we believe that our bodies are marked with the seal of the Holy Trinity.

Since we are temples of the Holy Spirit, we respect and honor the bodies of the dead and their places of rest. The customs associated with the preparation of the body of the deceased are always marked with dignity and reverence and never with the despair of those who have no hope. Therefore, in the presence of the deceased, we turn to prayer. In this time of sorrow, it is through prayer that we receive the necessary grace and consoling assurances of our faith.  

For the final disposition of the body, it is the ancient Christian custom to bury or entomb the bodies of the dead in a consecrated and holy place.


IS CREMATION ALLOWED IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH? 

Catholics today do have the option of considering cremation of loved ones. The Church has some important teachings on this that we must call to your attention before you make that decision.

The Order of Christian Funerals, the ritual book for all Catholic funerals and associated times of prayer, offers the option of having a Vigil Service and a Funeral Mass with the body of the deceased present. Cremation would then occur at a later date, followed by the interment of the cremated remains.
It is also permitted to have the body cremated first, followed by visitation and the Vigil Service, then Funeral Mass, with the cremains present for both. The option in either case is yours.

In either instance, please keep in mind above all else that the remains of the deceased are always and, in every way, to be treated just as the body of the deceased would be. It is not permitted, for instance, for cremated remains to be brought home in full or in part. We would not do this with the body of a deceased loved one; we do not do this with cremated remains either.

“ The cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to the human body from which they come. This includes the use of a worthy vessel to contain the ashes, the manner in which they are carried, the care and attention to appropriate placement and transport and the final disposition The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The practice of scattering the remains on the sea, from the air, or in the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition the Church requires." (Order of Christian Funerals, paragraph 417)



A FINAL WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT

The preparation of the funeral and all the decisions that you will need to make in the coming days may leave you little time to actually grieve.  You may find yourself suddenly feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion and sadness days or weeks after the funeral when all the whirlwind has passed.  Take comfort.  We are here long after everything is over, and we will continue to travel with you down your journey.  Make sure to continue to attend Mass, make contact with family and friends, and allow yourself time to pray when you need it. 

Catholic Funeral Masses are a beautiful source of faith, remembrance, and hope.  But more so, they are a clear statement of Christian love and hope in the promises of Christ.  To attend a funeral Mass is to see before you the words of St. Paul to the Corinthians:

Behold, I tell you a mystery. We shall not all fall asleep, but we will all be changed, in an instant, in the blink of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For that which is corruptible must clothe itself with incorruptibility, and that which is mortal must clothe itself with immortality. And when this which is corruptible clothes itself with incorruptibility and this which is mortal clothes itself with immortality, then the word that is written shall come about: Death is swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? 

Every year, St. Luke hosts a Mass for those who have died over the last year on All Souls Day, November 2nd.  We will include your loved one in the intentions for that Mass, and we encourage you to attend.  You may also request that your loved one be remembered at other Masses at St. Luke.  Please call or visit our office so that we may assist you.